Welcome to the first volume of The Fuck is on Your Face?; a feature where I ask my guy friends to talk about makeup. Our first entry comes courtesy of a gentleman who wishes to be referred to as is totally named Trent Melchiorre. Trent, in his typical brief fashion, says:

I have little opinion on makeup. It makes people prettier (PC? fuck you). I’m a little tight that I can’t get in on that. Foundation smells terrible and looks suffocating, and eyeliner is my second favorite thing.

We actually have photographic evidence on hand to support Mr. Melchiorre’s latter claim:

He’s fine.

Which, naturally, prompted our following exchange:

At least we know we’ll be employable during the inevitable zombie apocalypse.

As a dude, I too would be “tight” that it’s not entirely socially acceptable yet to get in on the beautifying properties of makeup. For all its opportunities for entertainment and self-expression, you know you’re gonna get a big zit right before a first date and it sure is nice to know you can just cover that sucker up. Are you a guy who uses concealer? Weigh in in the comments.

Mr. Melchiorre currently resides in New York, where he is a Serious Actor for the love of his craft and not at all because he likes wearing stage makeup. He wouldn’t tell us what his first favorite thing is, so we assume it’s lip gloss.