WTF Is That: Berrisom My Lip Tint Pack

Pretty colors!

Pretty colors!

When a friend of mine tagged me in the Facebook comments for this Marie Claire article, it took me two seconds to Amazon Prime this shit.

I wasn’t even dissuaded when the author mentioned blood. They say beauty is pain? Please. When it comes to all things cosmetic, I have a very high tolerance. (By all means, put needles in my face, just not my arms.)

The Berrisom My Lip Tint Pack comes from Korea (like all amazing/weird beauty products these days), but thanks to the miracle of free two-day shipping, I had my greedy beauty-junkie hands on them in no time. (Yo, side note: does anyone else drink and Prime? It’s like a surprise in my mailbox every week!)

Anyway, these are not the lip glosses they appear to be; oh no, my friend. These are peel-off lip stains. Whaaaat?!

So it’s not exactly rocket science, but it took me a couple tries to get the hang of the application (which I give myself a pass on because the instructions are in Korean and I was too lazy to Google).

Thanks for the help, Korea.

Thanks for the help, Korea.

I made an attempt to photograph my first go, which made application difficult and, frankly, really dumb. So not only did I not put quite enough on the first time, it was suuuuper crooked. Whoops.

So there I was, tube in hand (I picked the darkest color because I roll hard).

I picked the darkest color because I roll hard.

I also used my fingers, which is great if you’re looking for that stained-fingertip look. Protip: lip brush.

I mean . . . it's a look.

I mean . . . it’s a look.

So then I waited a while to let it dry. That’s when the fun really began.

Durrrr

Durrrr

The ideal beauty product for the kids who used to put Elmer's glue on their hands just to peel it off.

The ideal beauty product for the kids who used to put Elmer’s glue on their hands just to peel it off.

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I had to resort to some finger-scrubbing and then, finally, a Q-tip. Yeah, you may want one of those. The other thing you might want? Chapstick. Unless you’re not a total weirdo who can’t stand the feeling of bare lips. Then you’re good.

The result? A pretty, popsicle-stained effect that wears for hours and doesn’t transfer (trust me, I did my own research).

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Then I went for a cherry red. I really glommed it on this time, and waited longer to peel it off.

Leave it on if you're going for the blow-up sex-doll look!

Leave it on all night if you’re going for the blow-up-doll look!

Since it was so thick and I’d left it on for so long, all I had to do was press my lips together and it peeled itself off. 

SO GROSS/COOL

SO GROSS/COOL

The best part: my fiancé was totally grossed out. It was awesome.

Ta-dah!

Summer-popsicle lips that’ll survive pool time and BBQs!

So whether you don’t like the feeling of lipstick or just want a low-maintenance tint (well, the wear is low-maintenance; the application less so), you should totally get in on this shit. WAY better than the Lipnicure disaster.

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Oh, and don’t worry: totally pain-free and zero blood in sight. How’s that for an endorsement?!

Contouring for Pale People: 4 products that won’t make you look like a dirty Oompa Loompa

My father likes to call my skin color “clear.”

It’s not inaccurate; my veins are permanent blue-and-purple vines along my entire body, and the last time someone asked me what SPF I used I was like, “What, you mean, for like going outside?!?!”

So when I wrote this article called 3 Ways to Use This Contour Palette (Besides Contouring) for xoVain (“this” being the Anastasia Pro Contour Palette), several fair-skinned commenters expressed concern about the warmth of the contouring shades (the article actually wasn’t about contouring per se, but never mind). It’s true that a lot of mainstream contour products tend toward a certain “Hollywood tan” aesthetic, which can look muddy and weird when applied to those of us who draw Casper comparisons on the reg.

I’m a FRIENDLY ghost!

I’m a FRIENDLY ghost!

So it got me thinking. Surely there are contouring products for pale people!

…right?

My search was a difficult one; as we ghosties know all too well, the sun-shunning aesthetic isn’t exactly “in.” But I polled my artist friends, scoured shelves, thumbed through magazines, and came up with four beautiful, unconventional alternatives to your average beachy bronze.

The Neutral Cream Contour

PaleContour1

Becca Lowlight Sculpting Perfector

I can’t get enough of the packaging for Becca’s Lowlight Sculpting Perfector. The cool metal face of this compact alone makes me want to make room in my makeup bag, but luckily what’s inside is just as great. The lightweight cream formula inside is a true neutral brown. The color goes on sheer and blends out into a very natural-looking contour that lasts. I found that the cream formula works best with a short-bristled contour brush like the one pictured below.

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The Rose Effect Blush/Bronzer

Benefit Dallas

Benefit Dallas

A makeup artist friend with even paler skin than mine confided that she uses Benefit’s Dallas blush for contouring. Described on the package as a “dusty sunset plum,” this is almost a bronzer/blush in one, but with a cool undertone. Worn as a contour product, the effect isn’t exactly natural—at least not how I applied it—but it’s truly stunning; subtle definition with a rosy flush. I think the ambiguity of the shade lends itself well to double-tasking, and I’ve found myself reaching for Dallas for easy one-and-done cheeks. Plus, the included brush is actually worth using (imagine that!).

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The Luxe Bronzer

Guerlain

Guerlain Terracotta Bronzing Powder

Guerlain’s Terracotta Bronzing Powders are legendary: the colors are gorgeous, the formula has moisturizing ingredients, and the texture is almost nonexistent, it’s that silky. These are on the pricier side, but so highly pigmented that just a light dusting is enough—this little compact will last a long time. For my contour, I chose shade 08 Ebony for its rich plum undertones. Though this shade is meant to be a bronzer for someone with much darker skin, the cool undertone really lent itself well to a shadow effect, and the finely-milled texture blended like buttah, so I didn’t look like I wandered offstage during a high school Our Town production (application with a fan brush also helped).

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The Unicorn Cool-Toned Contour Palette 

It Cosmetics My Sculpted Face

It Cosmetics My Sculpted Face

It Cosmetics’ My Sculpted Face is a goshdarn unicorn. Every shade is wearable, and the highlighting shades are actually light enough to show up on my skin (I mean, WHAT)! The upper left shade is a matte white, and the upper right is a silvery-white shimmer (to be used sparingly, I found out the hard way). The two shades under that are perfect for a more natural, undetectable contour, and the last two are more my (dramatic) speed. I always go for the darkest shade, but as you can see, it blends quite easily.

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Swatched

Swatched

Make sure you’ve got a fan brush & a sturdy, short-ish bristled brush (I like Urban Decay’s Optical Blurring Brush) to blend tell-tale streaks out in tiny circles upward toward your ear.

Oh, and don’t forget to wear sunscreen, ya pale-ass jerk. Or just straight-up vampire it (hey, sleeping in works for me!).

Too Faced Semi-Sweet Tutorial

Be a copywriter they said . . . 🙂

Really excited and proud to be the writer, makeup artist, and model for this beautifully shot and directed YouTube tutorial.

Get the Look:

Face
1. Apply Hangover Primer all over face to hydrate and smooth.
2. Use Kabuki Brush to buff Cocoa Powder Foundation all over for a matte rose-petal finish.
3. Blend Chocolate Soleil Bronzer under cheekbones and along temples to contour.
4. Apply Sweethearts Blush in Peach Beach lightly along cheekbones.

Eyes
1. Use finger to apply Shadow Insurance all over lids.
2. Using the Semi-Sweet Chocolate Bar palette, apply Coconut Crème all over lid and up to brow.
3. Press Peanut Butter into crease and blend out with Mousse .
4. Smudge Hot Fudge into upper and lower lashlines and softly blend for a subtle smokey eye.
5. Wet a flat brush and pat Pink Sugar over the center of the lid and into the inner corners of the eye to brighten.
6. Line the upper lashline with Licorice.
7. Finish with Better Than Sex Mascara for volume and drama.

Lips
Apply Melted Velvet for the perfect kiss-proof pout.

SO MUCH FACE

And get ready to get smooched.

Nostalgia

Welp, I just realized today that I started this little blog two years ago! If And You Make Yourself Another were a person, it would be cutting its own bangs and yelling the word “no” at me. Or teething. I don’t know, I don’t have kids.

To celebrate, I reread The Very First Post, which I’d argue still holds up in our brave new 2014:

The internet has enough how-tos. If you want to learn to do anything, go look it up on YouTube. You don’t need to see my dumb face telling you how to “Create the Perfect Cat-Eye” or “How to Find the Perfect Red Lipstick!” I mean, fuck, the entire magazine industry is built on these recycled premises. Go sit in a waiting room. You might even pick up some tips on “How to Please Your Man!” (hint: it starts with blow and ends with job).

This is going to be beauty for smart girls (or dudes, we don’t discriminate here). You’re not thirteen years old playing with your mother’s rouge anymore. You’re a grown person (or, y’know, mature), and you can handle the word fuck once in a while (sorry, Grandma). You can also understand multisyllabic words (like multisyllabic!). So let’s stop dumbing down the beauty industry, because that’s the last thing it needs.

Sage words, 2012 Sarah.

While this piece of the internet hasn’t become the multi-staff, moneymaking venture I made no effort to make it, I still feel pretty good about pulling some words out of my brain and sticking them on the internet like this. Hey, it’s also served as an expletive-laden portfolio of sorts; I was able to parlay this thing into writing gigs for Beautylish, Sephora, and xoVain (and I’m in talks for something big, so say a little prayer for me). Also, I have a real camera now, so expect some actual beauty blogging (well, my version of beauty blogging).

You'll be back.

You’ll be back.

Anyway, thanks for sticking around, or for ditching and coming back to laugh and point.

It’s all good, yo.

Oh… Hey Guys….

I know, I know. I suck.

But I’m moving! Towns! They say that is one of the most stressful things that can happen to a person after death or divorce! I’ll be back on here with more expletive-filled beauty talk soon, I promise.

In the meantime, I found time to read an interesting xoJane piece called “You Don’t Have to Be Beautiful to Be Boring, But Science Says it Helps.” I don’t have time to compile my many thoughts about the piece just yet, but I wanted to share this thoughtful comment from Martha Mott:

Too much? Not for me to say.

“This is a bit of a tangent, but I don’t wonder if some personal style choices don’t automatically create a blind spot in men. Red lipstick, short hair, and glasses seem to overwhelm the male perceptions to the point that you could probably pull a Clark Kent/Superman on them with a simple change of accessories.

Anecdote: Yesterday some guy shouted, “Hey you got some face on your makeup.” First of all, fuck you bro. Second of all, I was wearing a tinted moisturizer, brown mascara, and one of those red lipbalm/lipsticks by Revlon. That’s it. My normal day to day drag consist of sooooooo much more, but because it’s all in the boring beige family those are the days I get called a “natural beauty.”

The rest of the day it was pretty clear that dudes weren’t really into it, and the few that did express any interest in me seemed to think I was some eccentric personality. Their very own Mad Pixie Dream Girl.

Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.”

I love that her first reaction is “Fuck you, bro”. Awesome. I’ve been meaning to write more about men and the (mis-) perceptions they often have about makeup. This blog’s feature The Fuck is on Your Face is meant to be humorous, but also a starting point for such a conversation. It’s not that I’m saying men are idiots about makeup, not at all. They sure as hell can be, but some of the best makeup artists I know are men, and anyway generalizations are for losers (see what I did there?).

But it is interesting to think about the visual shorthand certain types of makeup cues have for the cosmetically ignorant (women included). It’s also interesting to think about how there isn’t always an obvious correlation with how much actual product is used in a “natural” makeup look vs. a “colorful” makeup look. It’s a helluva lot faster and easier to slap on a red lip than it is to create “I was totally born with perfect skin”.

I now have to go pack up my entire life and move it two hours away (eep!), but I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Please leave ’em in the comments, yo.

An Ode to Brown Shadow

Revlon in Rich Sable

You know that tired old magazine question they always ask celebrities or models: If you were stranded on a desert island and could only have one makeup product, what would it be? The question never specifies why you would want a cosmetics product on a desert island. Are there other stranded people on the island? Is this a Lost situation? Are the other people hot?

The idea of needing makeup in deserted exile is probably pretty silly for most people. But the true beauty addicts know: it’s almost impossible to choose just one. Hell, even if nobody is around, what if I get rescued? By cute Coast Guard guys? What if I come across a reflective surface and get scarred for life? What if I just get bored and want to look cute for no particular reason? I SHOULD HAVE THAT RIGHT. I mean, I’m stranded, for god’s sake. Let me have this.

So while Chapstick and mascara are some pretty solid contenders, I’m pretty sure I’d have to go with a nice matte brown shadow. I use that stuff for everything. A smoky brown eye is my daily go-to, I fill in my eyebrows with an angled brush if I’m out of brow pencil, and it’s perfect for contouring under my cheekbones (subtlety is key here — fan brush or angled blush brush, shade out the hollows of your cheeks and blend the shit out of it — or risk looking like you got caught in a Stevie Nicks music video from the ’80s).

You gotta love a product that can multi-task that well. And it doesn’t even need to be a super high-end brand. I’ve used shadows from Maybelline, Revlon, and Cover Girl, and they work just as well as anything from Bobbi Brown, Lancome, or Laura Mercier. Just make sure it’s matte. Your eyebrows will look weird if they’re all sparkly. Ditto your contouring.

What can’t you live without?

Ugly-Pretty: Zombie Level

In Girl World, Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.
-Mean Girls

Gawker made fun of Brit Morin’s “Pretty Zombie” makeup tutorial today. I don’t know who she is either, but we all know Halloween is a time to look hot, not scary. If you’re too lazy to buy a two-foot $39.99 piece of Spandex from Spirit Halloween, Brit has you covered. Look ugly-pretty with items from your own makeup drawer!

Braaaaaains … I have none.

From Gawker:

Here are the steps:

  1. Apply primer to your face, as you would if you were applying normal make-up, because that’s all you’re doing, is applying normal make-up.
  2. Apply a foundation that is one shade lighter than your natural skin. WHOA WHO’S THAT DEAD GIRL? It’s you.
  3. Instead of applying brown bronzer, as you normally would, apply gray bronzer (eyeshadow). Do NOT skip this step, as it constitutes almost the entirety of your costume.
  4. Add “a touch of brightening powder” over the gray “to soften the look.” Dial that grey back. Dial it way, way back.
  5. Brush your eyelids with a couple neutral shades of shadow. Start with something “vanilla-like” on the inner eyelid, moving to “beige” on the outer. Don’t be afraid to get really crazy here, experimenting with the rainbow spectrum of beige—it’s Halloween—but don’t get really crazy.
  6. Use an espresso shade to give yourself a great smoky eye. Above all, keep it subtle. You want to look dead, not like you’re from Jersey.
  7. Use eyeliner and mascara to help give your lashes “a fuller look.”
  8. Line your bottom lash with red lip liner. The tutorial suggests using a lip liner that one commenter later pointed out is not eye safe and could lead to eye irritation or even vision loss. Follow your heart on this one. (You can’t follow your eyes because you are blind now.)
  9. Put red lipstick on.

It should be noted that I used my own makeup kit as a costume one year, but these were my results:

Apple: the preferred smartphone for zombies everywhere

Nobody’s going to accidentally have sex with that zombie.

Nope, they will know exactly what they’re getting into.

The Fuck is on Your Face? Vol. VIII: Bronze Lies

Once again, we bring you the feature wherein Dudes Talk Out of Their Asses on Makeup. Todd has some words on bronzer. We recommend clicking the links. Go on. Do it. 

There is a tone of discouragement running through this series like a seam of mold in a block of bleu cheese.  That ain’t me.  I’m the curd and I’m here to say, “You go girl!”

I have been raised almost entirely among men.  I have two brothers, no sisters.  Of my 12 cousins there is one girl, a tomboy 20 years younger than me.  I went to Catholic school, where the girls are able to grow their mustaches before the boys.  I have paid the same attention to my sundry lady friends’ beauty routines as they have the fluctuations in the roster of the New York Knicks.  The result?  You have me totally fooled.  Makeup, hair tricks, perfumes.  I actually believe this is how you look and smell.  I am content to assume that female tear ducts secrete eye liner, their pores the scent of lilacs and lavender or whatever.

There is one thing that does not fool me: bronzer.  I am pale by birth (Nordic stock) and by lifestyle.  I don’t climb mountains for a living; I sit at a desk and write beauty articles for a law firm.  I realize how hard it can be to incite melanin production.  That said, I have had visions of the future and they concern me.  I feel duty bound to reveal them here.  You won’t find this information anywhere else.

Based on my desire to take this article where I want it to go, beauty trends have a way of pushing the envelope, finding extremes and going beyond to magnificent new frontiers in the field of good looks.  Today, you ladies are using bronzer.  The Arms Race and Space Race each escalated exponentially.  The Face Race will be no different.  Before too long, a simple coating of light orange will not be enough.  Soon to follow will be the new product, bronzest.  Taking note of the Olympian ideal, we know bronze is trumped only by silver and gold.  Now look, I like Star Trek probably more than the next guy.  I could get down with robo-chicks.  But ladies, you’re not robots.  All that fucking paint is gonna get everywhere, more specifically all over my stuff.  I just washed these sheets fer chrissakes.  And you’re already beautiful the way Jesus and Buddha made you: with your blue shaded eye spaces and perfectly arched eyebrows, the way light catches your permanently flushed cheeks.  You works of art, you.

Seconds before bursting into flames.

This is the first we’ve heard of Todd’s supersecret beauty/law job. Also, he is a doublespacer. The world should know. 

Ah, bronzer. At best, it can make you look vibrant and healthy. At worst, it can make you look like a Jersey Shore cast member’s pillowcase (are we still making those references? whatever, I’m doing it).

Easy, no-muss bronzing: find a finely-milled matte bronzer and apply with a fan brush. The sparseness of the fan brush’s bristles will ensure a sheer, idiot-proof wash of color (idiot). Bronzing can not only save a too-light foundation application, it can contour your face as well. Apply on high planes of the face where the sun would naturally hit (forehead, nose, cheekbones, a tiny bit on the chin). For contouring, brush into temples, the hollow space under your cheekbones, and under your jawline. You can also brush it over your collarbone and shoulders for a nice sun-kissed glow. As always, don’t forget to blend that shit.

WTF is That? Stippling Brush

Ever see a product sitting on a shelf and just said, “Seriously, WTF is that? Medieval torture device? Alien probe?” That’s where this new feature comes in. Here I will talk about beauty items that can sometimes seem daunting or confusing or just plain weird.

This post was inspired by an odd-looking brush that was included in my latest brush set purchase. Now, having worked in the beauty industry for seven years, it’s pretty embarrassing that I don’t know what one of these brush-set-staples is. Kind of like how I still don’t know how to tie my shoes without using bunny ears. Someone taught me the bunny ears and then just forgot to help me graduate into around-the-river-and-through-the-rocks or whatever the grownup version is. THANKS MOM.

Ahem.

I decided that if I didn’t know, there was a good chance some of you didn’t (let’s be real, I mean, I love you guys, but some of these questions are 13-year-old-Seventeen-Mag-reading-level) (KISSES!). I mean, I’ve always wondered, but it’s just one of those things, you know? Stuff slips through the cracks.

So I looked it up. According to Sephora, it’s “A stippling brush that perfectly applies powder, liquid, and cream foundations. Ensure a gorgeous, sheer finish and even, streak-free application with this stippling brush that complements any foundation. The white, taklon bristles apply product and the black, goat bristles blend for flawless results—an ideal duo of natural and synthetic fibers. The sleek, wood handle fits comfortably in the hand and allows for total control over your desired look.”

In other words, the white, sparser-bristled part picks up the product, and the black, denser-bristled part buffs and blends it into the skin. How have I lived without this sorcery for so long?

Says my dear friend Kim, a supertalented makeup artist and product hound like me, “I apply liquid foundation with it because it gives a flawless, airbrushed finished and you can build up the foundation where you want more coverage! Great for HD powders, blush, and cleaning up dropped shadow, too!” Damn, lady, I’m sold. She swears by MAC’s Duo Fibre Face Brush ($42, a mixture of goat and synthetic fibers). Kathryne, another makeup artist friend, added, “Also, it helps stretch foundation so you end up using less, and can make a full coverage foundation not look and feel so heavy. A big trick is after you put on your foundation with the brush, after you applied blush and/or bronzer, slightly go over the area with the used stippling brush, and it helps to make the blush and bronzer blend into the makeup to give a more natural look.”

Yeah, my friends are awesome. It’s okay, you’re in the inner circle now too, by virtue of this blog. You’re welcome.

And don’t worry! Bunny ears work just as well, and most of my shoes have zippers anyway.

Are you confused by the entire existence of a product? Weigh in in the comments, or head over to the And You Make Yourself Another Facebook page to join the discussion.