WTF Is That: Berrisom My Lip Tint Pack

Pretty colors!

Pretty colors!

When a friend of mine tagged me in the Facebook comments for this Marie Claire article, it took me two seconds to Amazon Prime this shit.

I wasn’t even dissuaded when the author mentioned blood. They say beauty is pain? Please. When it comes to all things cosmetic, I have a very high tolerance. (By all means, put needles in my face, just not my arms.)

The Berrisom My Lip Tint Pack comes from Korea (like all amazing/weird beauty products these days), but thanks to the miracle of free two-day shipping, I had my greedy beauty-junkie hands on them in no time. (Yo, side note: does anyone else drink and Prime? It’s like a surprise in my mailbox every week!)

Anyway, these are not the lip glosses they appear to be; oh no, my friend. These are peel-off lip stains. Whaaaat?!

So it’s not exactly rocket science, but it took me a couple tries to get the hang of the application (which I give myself a pass on because the instructions are in Korean and I was too lazy to Google).

Thanks for the help, Korea.

Thanks for the help, Korea.

I made an attempt to photograph my first go, which made application difficult and, frankly, really dumb. So not only did I not put quite enough on the first time, it was suuuuper crooked. Whoops.

So there I was, tube in hand (I picked the darkest color because I roll hard).

I picked the darkest color because I roll hard.

I also used my fingers, which is great if you’re looking for that stained-fingertip look. Protip: lip brush.

I mean . . . it's a look.

I mean . . . it’s a look.

So then I waited a while to let it dry. That’s when the fun really began.

Durrrr

Durrrr

The ideal beauty product for the kids who used to put Elmer's glue on their hands just to peel it off.

The ideal beauty product for the kids who used to put Elmer’s glue on their hands just to peel it off.

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I had to resort to some finger-scrubbing and then, finally, a Q-tip. Yeah, you may want one of those. The other thing you might want? Chapstick. Unless you’re not a total weirdo who can’t stand the feeling of bare lips. Then you’re good.

The result? A pretty, popsicle-stained effect that wears for hours and doesn’t transfer (trust me, I did my own research).

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Then I went for a cherry red. I really glommed it on this time, and waited longer to peel it off.

Leave it on if you're going for the blow-up sex-doll look!

Leave it on all night if you’re going for the blow-up-doll look!

Since it was so thick and I’d left it on for so long, all I had to do was press my lips together and it peeled itself off. 

SO GROSS/COOL

SO GROSS/COOL

The best part: my fiancé was totally grossed out. It was awesome.

Ta-dah!

Summer-popsicle lips that’ll survive pool time and BBQs!

So whether you don’t like the feeling of lipstick or just want a low-maintenance tint (well, the wear is low-maintenance; the application less so), you should totally get in on this shit. WAY better than the Lipnicure disaster.

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Oh, and don’t worry: totally pain-free and zero blood in sight. How’s that for an endorsement?!

Contouring for Pale People: 4 products that won’t make you look like a dirty Oompa Loompa

My father likes to call my skin color “clear.”

It’s not inaccurate; my veins are permanent blue-and-purple vines along my entire body, and the last time someone asked me what SPF I used I was like, “What, you mean, for like going outside?!?!”

So when I wrote this article called 3 Ways to Use This Contour Palette (Besides Contouring) for xoVain (“this” being the Anastasia Pro Contour Palette), several fair-skinned commenters expressed concern about the warmth of the contouring shades (the article actually wasn’t about contouring per se, but never mind). It’s true that a lot of mainstream contour products tend toward a certain “Hollywood tan” aesthetic, which can look muddy and weird when applied to those of us who draw Casper comparisons on the reg.

I’m a FRIENDLY ghost!

I’m a FRIENDLY ghost!

So it got me thinking. Surely there are contouring products for pale people!

…right?

My search was a difficult one; as we ghosties know all too well, the sun-shunning aesthetic isn’t exactly “in.” But I polled my artist friends, scoured shelves, thumbed through magazines, and came up with four beautiful, unconventional alternatives to your average beachy bronze.

The Neutral Cream Contour

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Becca Lowlight Sculpting Perfector

I can’t get enough of the packaging for Becca’s Lowlight Sculpting Perfector. The cool metal face of this compact alone makes me want to make room in my makeup bag, but luckily what’s inside is just as great. The lightweight cream formula inside is a true neutral brown. The color goes on sheer and blends out into a very natural-looking contour that lasts. I found that the cream formula works best with a short-bristled contour brush like the one pictured below.

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The Rose Effect Blush/Bronzer

Benefit Dallas

Benefit Dallas

A makeup artist friend with even paler skin than mine confided that she uses Benefit’s Dallas blush for contouring. Described on the package as a “dusty sunset plum,” this is almost a bronzer/blush in one, but with a cool undertone. Worn as a contour product, the effect isn’t exactly natural—at least not how I applied it—but it’s truly stunning; subtle definition with a rosy flush. I think the ambiguity of the shade lends itself well to double-tasking, and I’ve found myself reaching for Dallas for easy one-and-done cheeks. Plus, the included brush is actually worth using (imagine that!).

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The Luxe Bronzer

Guerlain

Guerlain Terracotta Bronzing Powder

Guerlain’s Terracotta Bronzing Powders are legendary: the colors are gorgeous, the formula has moisturizing ingredients, and the texture is almost nonexistent, it’s that silky. These are on the pricier side, but so highly pigmented that just a light dusting is enough—this little compact will last a long time. For my contour, I chose shade 08 Ebony for its rich plum undertones. Though this shade is meant to be a bronzer for someone with much darker skin, the cool undertone really lent itself well to a shadow effect, and the finely-milled texture blended like buttah, so I didn’t look like I wandered offstage during a high school Our Town production (application with a fan brush also helped).

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The Unicorn Cool-Toned Contour Palette 

It Cosmetics My Sculpted Face

It Cosmetics My Sculpted Face

It Cosmetics’ My Sculpted Face is a goshdarn unicorn. Every shade is wearable, and the highlighting shades are actually light enough to show up on my skin (I mean, WHAT)! The upper left shade is a matte white, and the upper right is a silvery-white shimmer (to be used sparingly, I found out the hard way). The two shades under that are perfect for a more natural, undetectable contour, and the last two are more my (dramatic) speed. I always go for the darkest shade, but as you can see, it blends quite easily.

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Make sure you’ve got a fan brush & a sturdy, short-ish bristled brush (I like Urban Decay’s Optical Blurring Brush) to blend tell-tale streaks out in tiny circles upward toward your ear.

Oh, and don’t forget to wear sunscreen, ya pale-ass jerk. Or just straight-up vampire it (hey, sleeping in works for me!).